Heroin heißt Heldin

singt der Mann der seine Ein-Mann-Band "Mantits" (*) nennt so schön in seinem wunderbaren Ich-bin-zu-betrunken-zu-spielen-aber-hey! -
hier-gehts-um-Todessehnsucht-Lied
"let me fucking die!", zu hören hier: http://www.angelfire.com/scary/mantits/fuckingdie.mp3

Dieser augenzwinkernden, ausgelassenen Suizidhymne kann ich heut nur laut mitsingend zustimmen.
Mein GBL schmeckt nach Kotze, riecht so buttersäurig dass sogar meine Katzen gar nicht neugierig am Fläschen riechen wollen, und mein Kopf springt entzwei da der heutige Rausch in Kombination mit meinem Substitutionsmittel tödlich für mich wäre.

Tja, morgen dann noch Speed dazu, verhindert das Einschlafen dass mir den Atemreflex stehlen möchte...
Ach...
Wie singt Mantits so schön und wahr?

Another song is written. I cleaned the house again. I went to see a concert. I made another friend. I built another staircase. I fucked another whore. I'm always going somewhere. I'm always out for more. It's just an endless cycle. I never leave square one. Am I going somewhere? Or am I on the run? Keep striving to accomplish, fueled by boredom and pride, a doomed attempt at running from the pain I feel inside. Some say I've got a problem: imbalance in the brain, that there's two kinds of people: the happy and insane. But somehow I don't buy it. Emotions serve a cause. They're trying to convince me it's happy in their jaws. Drugs just dull the sadness, don't change what it's about, and when the problem's always there you can't just talk it out. I've heard there's a completeness, a stillness deep inside, but you can't stay forever, no it's just another ride. So let me fucking die. It's the only way. I've got my self-direction, but where demands a why. The answer's other people, but they're out getting high. Some say this pain and longing is all a search for God. Well I say if she's hiding he's probably a fraud. Some say the answer's money, but money can't buy me love, and greed is something that I hate too much to be a part of. Some say to just live simply, contemplative and calm, so I'll be picking flowers and they'll be dropping bombs. I know life could be different but that won't make it so. I know why there are problems but that won't make them go. Things may change in the future, but I'm alive today, where peace is just a pipedream, and love just falls away. They say death is too easy, that living makes us strong, that suicide's for cowards, but I know that they're wrong. Cause there's no use in living when there's no reason why, and there's nothing strong about it when you're just too scared to die.


* = http://www.angelfire.com/scary/mantits/index.html

ganz abseits vom Thema möchte ich einfach nur mal meine Freude kund tun, dass du jedes mal gerade etwas gepostet hast, wenn ich von der Nachtschicht komme. Das musst du mindestens noch eine Woche durchhalten ;) Vielleicht hilft dir dabei was mir hilft:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1fM2qhG8mA4

"Looked like ten thousand people standing on the burial ground
I didn't know that I loved her 'till they began to let her down

You know it's so hard to love
Someone that don't love you
Won't get satisfaction
Don't care what you do"

und nicht vergessen Don't you mind people grinning in your face?!